Thursday, December 29, 2011

Santa Declassifies 2011 Post Delivery Debriefing

Santa has officially released his declassified post delivery report for the 2011 trip.

Some information remains classified as it would potentially cause unnecessary dangers for future trips if the entire trip outline would be distributed.

Included; however; is information on communications issues while over Germany (and the cause of said communications disruption) as well as several other items.

It has been posted by the DES and the report can be read by clicking here.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Santa Post Delivery Medical Report

Dr. Harold Twinklestein has released his post delivery medical report on Santa.

No major concerns were identified in Santa's examination. He does have several issues to work on this year in preparation for next year's journey and to keep him healthy, but he has been listed as "Fit for Continued Duty" as Executive Director of the DES and all other duties.

Please click the link for his full 2011 report.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Santa Second Check Complete and Satellites Scheduled for Take Off

Santa has completed his second check. There are only a few changes and they have been sent over to the workshop so that changes can be made to the loading schedule.

All satellites will be launched at the scheduled times in the morning.

NORAD has been notified of the lift off and will be tracking out progress starting at 8 a.m.

Those who are on the lift off crew are to report to command central at 7 a.m. for pre-launch checklists. We will follow the lift off schedule as in previous years and hope that there will be no issues in the morning. All rockets are on the launch pads and ready to go.


Santa Second Check Scheduled for 3p.m.

Attention Naughty and Nice List Elves.

Santa will be moving his operations to his home office this afternoon and he plans on going through his second check of the list starting at 3 p.m.

Please deliver all lists to his office by then. All updates need to be done by 2:57 p.m. to make the EPS (Elf Postal Service) truck shipment over to Santa's house. If you have any changes after that time, you will have to deliver them yourself (just remember to protect the list, Santa does not like them damp it we have snow reported for today).

Santa should be working late into the night and will send any adjustments to the workshop as he comes across them.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


We just lost the red bow making machine in the workshop.

We need all available elves to report to gift wrapping immediately.

This machine has been a problem and we have no time to get it repaired before Saturday night.

If you are not experienced in bow making we will teach, just come as soon as possible!

Bonus pay will be given to those who are working multiple shifts. This is an emergency and we need your help.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Electronic Toy Seminar Scheduled

All elves working within the electronic division are to report to mandatory training from January 10 - January 15 in the Meeting Hall.

We will be discussing and going over the schematics of next year's electronic toys, as well as, going over the new laser cutter the will arrive in the workshop on January 20th.

There will be a few changes in circuit boards and wiring coding, so please be sure to bring your wiring handbooks with you during the training. These training sessions will be the same as previous years. If you are new to the division, please report an extra hour early for orientation and sign-in. We will distribute your handbooks and specialized tools during the orientation training.

At the end of the sessions, there will be a brief certification exam; however, you will be allowed to use your notes. Please be sure to take good ones.

Lunch will be provided for all sessions so we can continue working through lunch.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Prep and Landing Crew Update

The entire Prep and Landing Team (Including the Coal division) are to report at 09:00 hours tomorrow to the main auditorium in the meeting house.

We will be going over this year's naughty/nice list update as well as the new landing equipment demonstration. Please be sure to bring your landing modules with you so that you can have them updated.

As you recall there is a defect within last year`s module that does not allow deployment if there is a triple chimney configuration on the roof. The Toy Maker has made an update module that can be inserted into your landing equipment that will fix this defect.

Also, there is a significant increase in the nice list this year. We may be moving some of the coal division over to the "Prep and Landing" division. This will be discussed during the meeting.

Arnold has also asked that all "Coal" division elves please take a bath and do not show up at the meeting with your work clothes or boots. This is a brand new facility and we would like to keep it clean as much as possible.

Mrs. Claus will have cocoa and pancakes available at 8:30 a.m. for those wanting to come for breakfast before the meeting. BYOS (Bring your own syrup).

Monday, December 12, 2011

12 Day Check Starts During the Morning Shift

The Department of Elfland Security will begin the 12 day countdown checklist starting at 12:01 a.m. The first part of the checklist is to cover all animal deliveries, as well as, the reindeer stable status. If you work within these areas, please be prepared for inspection so that all goes quickly.

As you remember from last year, when we entered into the gift wrapping stations we had to wait for the station workers to finish their cocoa break which set us off schedule for the rest of the day.

The following will be the schedule, so please be at your posts during these times.

12:01 a.m. Animal Delivery and Stables

1:01 a.m. Santa's Sleigh and lift-off testing

2:01 a.m. Satellite to Sleigh present transfer

3:01 a.m. Santa's Wardrobe and dressing area

4:01 a.m.- 6:00 a.m. Breakfast and Cocoa Break

6:01 a.m. Gift wrapping Center

7:01 a.m. Security and tracking center

8:01 a.m. Gift to Satellite packaging Center

9:01 a.m. Coal Polishing Center

10:01 a.m. Naughty/Nice list briefing and update

11:00 a.m.- 1:00 p.m. Lunch and Cocoa Break

1:01 p.m. Conference Call with NORAD

3:01 p.m. Review of 10 Day checklist schedule

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Santa Returns from St. Nicholas Day Run

Santa reported another great St. Nicholas Day run this year. He had plenty of gifts for the children`s shoes despite the concerns of the accounting department. We are conducting an audit now to see why the count was off and to make sure we don`t run into issues for the December 24th run. If we are off on the count then we can make it up using the storage warehouse and accounting has assured us that they will send staff members down to the workshop to help us get caught back up.

He continued to report that several of the children again forgot to untie their shoes and he had to use extra magic in some of the German neighborhoods, but it was not as close to the problem he had last year.

We will be sending a team out to the eastern satellite in order to stable the donkeys and arrange for transport back to the pole tomorrow. Santa also said that the basket transfer system works much better now that we have all of the glitches worked out (thanks to Arnold in engineering).

For more information about St. Nicholas Day, click here.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Snowball Challenge Results


Thank you to Julie and Anderson for putting together another great event at the last minute. I heard all kinds of positive feedback and we all look forward to the next challenge.

The following are the results from the events:

Gift Wrapping Challenge: 1st Place: Arnold Greeson with :21 seconds and a perfect bow. 2nd place: Melanie Peirson with :24 seconds. 3rd place: Jackie Wetson with :28 seconds.

Snowman Challenge: This was a close one, the Red team won with 3:42 seconds. Their snowman was 28ft 8in. Tall. GOOD JOB RED TEAM. 2nd place: Green Team, 3rd place: Gold Team

Candy Cane Eating Contest: The winner was Jacob Carnolsworth with 987 candy canes in 1 minute.

Jacob left the Snowball Challenge after the contest and went to the workshop to do all the work we had scheduled for Monday… so when you report to work on Monday, please follow Tuesday`s schedule.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Santa Approves New Jet for DES

A little known fact is that Santa actually travels via jet when he not making Christmas gift deliveries. After visiting Air Force One a few years ago, he always makes the comment when boarding and leaving the current plane that we have to get a new one. He liked the private quarters and offices on Air Force One, especially if it would allow himself and Mrs. Claus to have areas to rest from the security elves while they are travelling.

After this year`s Macy`s Day Parade trip, the big guy finally gave us approval to purchase a new upgraded jet, so the department is now having the new jet built. We will be getting a brand new Boeing VC-25 (the same place as the current Air Force One).

When we met with the employees at Boeing, we secretly sprinkled them with some elf dust so we would get our plane done quicker (at elf pace).

They have already sent over some preliminary photos of the interior and it looks like this is going to be a palace in the sky.

Delivery is expected to be within the week, and everyone is excited for the maiden voyage.




Here are some interior photos of the new DES-1 that were e-mailed over earlier today:

Security corridor next to Mr. and Mrs. Claus suite.

DES on-board conference room.

Inside Mr. and Mrs. Claus` suite.